Saturday, 28 March, 2020

10 sensitive things that kills the joy of marriage


        

Today, marriages are no longer as charming and dream-worthy as it used to be. The rate at which marriages crash is alarming which has even made some change their view about marriage.

So, if I’m correct, you are here because you want to know more about those things that kill marriages faster.

Before then, if you have not read my article about the types of partner to avoid before marriage, you can read it here as that will further enlighten and help you understand this better. So now, let’s go into details.

Things that kills the joy of marriage which you must avoid

Secrets

Except if you are planning a surprise. Keeping secrets or hiding some sensitive things from your partner could be the beginning of the end of that marriage. In marriage, talk about everything, don’t feel it’s not necessary, what you feel is not necessary might be very important and could even save you later if you open up on time.

There is nothing like “I can handle it”. If there is anything that keeps marriage fun, its constant communication even when the two of you are not on good terms.

And if you are looking for one powerful tool that keeps marriage, its trust, and trust is not automatic my dear, you earn it. One better way to earn it is by not keeping secrets.

Let him know almost everything so that he won’t start having trust issues with you when he eventually finds out himself or from an outsider.

Difference in beliefs

Having different belief has destroyed many marriages and has even led to domestic violence of some. If you are married and belief is causing the problem, it’s better to sit and sort it out or separate if none of you is ready to make adjustments.

Current case study is Kim Kardashian and her husband Kanye West.

The new change of belief of Kanye is already bringing little problems to the table because he is trying to enforce it on their daughter which currently as at the time of this article, doesn’t go well with Kim.

Don’t ever think of going into domestic violence to solve it, it affects the kids in so many ways, you can read more about the effects of domestic violence on kids here.

Brave Achiever said “When the husband is religious and the wife is not or vice versa, there is going to be a problem except on rare occasions. If you have not gotten married, don’t hope your case will fall into the category of rare occasion. Prevention they say, is better than looking for a cure”

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So, don’t be blinded by love, don’t be self-centred, think of your kids too, they don’t deserve confusion.

Domestic Violence

You can say this is the easiest way to kill the emotions of your partner. This is the mostly associated with men

The day you raise your hand on her, that is the day the foundation of that marriage starts shaking.

As a woman, if he hits while in relationship, then imagine what he will do when he have full access to you after marriage.

If he hits you in relationship, I will suggest you don’t think of marriage. And if you observe he has anger issues, let him completely solve it before marriage.

Your life is very important

Cheating

Cheating is no more “breaking news” when it comes to reason for broken marriages, and it’s not gender-specific.

In fact, it has the highest percentage of the reason people leave marriages and relationships. This is why I always advise people that marriage doesn’t cure cheating. If your partner can’t solve it before marriage, don’t think marriage will perform the miracle

Listening to friends all the time

As funny as it sounds, it will surprise you to know that many marriages ended because either of the partners was listening to friends and trying to please them.

If you are the type that can’t make decisions over your life alone but depends on friends, then you need to stop. Apart from the fact it is bad for relationship and marriage, it is also bad for your personal life.

Don’t listen to friends that advise you not to be patient with your partner.

But if you want to listen to them, look into their own life and confirm if they have a partner, and if that is yes, is it the same advice they give you that they practise with their spouse?

Friends that advises you to cheat are no friends but destroyers, friends that never see anything good about your spouse are no friends. Friends that do not respect your choice of partner are not good as well. So, friends that exhibit these characters only wants you to live by their terms and not yours.

And always remember, it’s your life, your music, only you will dance to the tone. It won’t affect them.

Lack of Respect

when there is no respect, you are automatically telling your partner you don’t value him or her. Respect looks simple but hard to give. Marriages break faster when there is no single regard to whatever either of the spouse says.

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Some men believe women are just for sex and babies. This mentality alone is poisonous and should be eradicated. Thinking that way is disrespectful already and should not be practicalized. Understand that she’s not a slave but your teammate.

Ego

This habit of “if he doesn’t talk to me first, I won’t talk to him” or “I will make her speak to me first” is not bad, but also childish, common guys, you are mature, settle your differences.

Call him or her, say your mind and hear your spouse point of view too

Don’t be surprised

You could be at fault

And it could also be that neither of you is at fault.

Misunderstandings are that funny, you think he’s at fault but after hearing his side of the story, you discover you were not just patient enough.

So, sort things out, ego or pride has never given anyone medal, neither has it sustained any marriage

Lack of Attention

Even if you are the biggest business tycoon in the world, never deprive your partner of attention, that’s the number one way to expose your partner to extra-marital affairs.

He or she ain’t robot friend. They didn’t accept to marry you just to keep them as decoration. So, no matter your schedule, always find time for just the two of you. No one else or nothing else should matter in those moments.

Hot Jealousy

Hot jealousy is a weapon of marriage destruction. You might be wondering how?

Being jealous is a sign of true love, but when it becomes hot, then there is a problem.

A partner that gets jealous to the extreme will have anger issues, and anger issues is one of the traits of domestic violence.

Someone with anger issues will easily react violently to unnecessary issues.

Shying away from reality (being blinded by religion)

I don’t think there is any religion in the world that says you shouldn’t please your partner when it comes to marriage.

There are some marriages that break nowadays as a result of either of the partners giving more regard to religious activities than marital activities. Learn to balance the two. One shouldn’t affect the other.

Be adventurous in intimacy, don’t be a log of wood.

And also, whatever respect you give to your religious leader, your partner deserves *3 of it.

Bottom Line

Marriages were never destined to end with divorce, indefinite separation or death from domestic violence.

Majority of this marital problems are as a result of our own handpicked problems, maybe we can call it ignorance or insensitivity.

With some of the things listed here, I hope you’ve been able to gain one or two things. Cheers.

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