low self esteem: Everything you need to know and how to conquer it

Low self esteem is toxic and should not be allowed grow more than it is already is. What is low self esteem and how can it be taken care of? You might need a pen as we go deeper because I will be touching every part.

Low self-esteem has done a lot of damage and at the same time claimed many lives. Some people today don’t have what it takes to face life just because of an unfortunate situation that happened in the past.

What is self Esteem?

You can say self esteem means self-worth or self-pride, self-respect or personal value. They are all correct. How we will go in life depends on our self-worth, how we feel about ourselves, our confidence etc.

We can naturally say we have 3 different stages of self-esteem. Low self-esteem, moderate self-esteem and high self-esteem. Today, we will be analysing low self esteem and how to conquer it.

Here are some events that causes low self esteem             

Sexual Abuse

This aspect is rampant even in the modern society, there are many laws that has been put in place to erase it and gradually it’s working.

Sexual abuse means forcing someone to sexual act against their original will. It could also be taking advantage of someone’s ignorance for sexual activity.

Many kids and even adults have falling victim of this and while some have been able to get over it, some still find a little difficult:

Why is this?

Because they believe their self-pride has been taken away, their confidence has been crushed. And this keep filling their minds, and so, they are always moody, sad and wants to be alone or highly secretive. Sexual abuse is a bad experience and we must help the victims.

Play Group Rejection

This is mostly associated to kids. Play groups are meant to sharpen the brain and at the same time makes someone feel good about him or herself. Automatically, they are meant to increase or boost the morale of one another through playing with each other. If they instead choose to reject each other probably because one of them is disabled or less intelligent or just different to others in a weird way. That alone can first make such child moody, sad, and could find it hard to fit in life if care is not taken.


Comparison is one of the fastest ways to kill self confidence in someone. Even in a relationship, comparison is of the ways of killing the relationship gradually. But we are not talking about relationship now, so let’s look at comparison from a parental view.

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Parents should be careful not to compare their kids to other kids in a negative way.

From parental side, when a child is compared to his or her mates in a negative way, it’s only in few times that the child feel determined, most times it kills the happiness of such child and instead of encouraging, it makes the child feel worthless or less valued.

When parents fail to impact confidence into a child, that child can grow up to become the lonely and sad type and might never get anything right in life. Also, parent should not write off their child about anything because that child may never regain the self-esteem needed to succeed again.

And as an adult, comparing yourself to others that have made in one way or the other could kill your self-confidence because you will start seeing yourself as valueless which is not supposed to be

Repercussions of low self esteem


This is a state of mind that people enter before contemplating on suicide. When self-worth is low already, any mental stress or situation could push such fellow to depression in a very short while.

Also, when parents compare kids or their children to others that are doing better than them, it takes away the self-worth of at least 70% and push them to extreme mental imbalance.


This shouldn’t come as a surprise if you ask me, majority of youths committing suicide nowadays is as a result of low self esteem.

A student committing suicide because of low grade, a guy committing suicide because a girl left him or a girl killing herself because his man left her is all as a result of lack of self-worth or self-love.

If they love themselves, they will understand that we come to this life once, so taking their own life or depriving yourself of happiness is wickedness.

Settling for anything

When there is no self-love, one could settle for anything that comes his or her way.

When a woman or man tolerating what could eventually kill him or her in a relationship, it’s mostly as a result of lack of self-love, no self-worth. So such fellow would feel where will I get another man or woman, forgetting his or her own happiness is very important too.

So when there is no self-love, you become a slave to whatever comes your way and whoever comes your way because you will feel less and you will not have a standard of how you want your life to be.

Lack of Quality Vision for yourself

When you don’t love yourself, you focus about a quality life is shifted, when your mates are dreaming about working hard, and having their dream job to have a comfortable life, someone with esteem problem will continue to manage even when he has chances of going into a big business and succeed, that lack of self-confident is drawing him back and making him see more disadvantages than advantages.

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Few ways to conquer low self-esteem.                 

Strengthen our Best Qualities

We are all unique in one way or the other, that’s why it is important to ask our friends to tell us about what see in us that is unique. After knowing this, then it will be easy to work on the good qualities mentioned

When we help others, probably in one way or the other. We will feel good about it and gradually, that self –esteem could come back to life.

Change the Way You View and do Things

Changing the way we used to do things could help us discover that little spark that will boost our morale.  

This method is most advised when you are not sure of how to gain your self esteem. So changing the way used to handle things have proven to help some people re-discover who they are.

Work on your Weakness

Learn to understand that no one is perfect, so when you make mistake, laugh at yourself and try doing that thing again instead of making it roadblock to your belief. Laughing at your mistake is somehow making your weakness your strength.

Learn New Things

Life is full of adventures, so learning new things is a wonderful way to boost our self-confidence. So don’t just sit in one place friend, rise up and learn any new skill or craft.

Value Your Self

The truth about life is, you have to love yourself first before anyone can love you. That also means that you have to value yourself first before anyone can value you.

When you value yourself, love yourself and respect yourself, no one will. If you don’t value who you are or what you do, then an outsider might not be able to help you as well, but when you always present yourself to people in a special way. It’s not like you are lying to them, it’s just the truth about who you are inside you.


Self esteem is a very important if we want to be great in life, nobody can make it with low self esteem.

Don’t let people ridicule you with the positive things you couldn’t do, remember people won’t listen to your excuse for failing, they will only hail you when you are successful. You can do it, come out of your sad shell and unleash the greatness inside you.

6 comments on “low self esteem: Everything you need to know and how to conquer it

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