According to latest research 70% of Relationships nowadays have a very short lifespan, You might be wondering what could cause it.It's not be
According to latest research 70% of Relationships nowadays have a very short lifespan, You might be wondering what could cause it.
It’s not because they wanted it, that’s the truth, but because majority did not take note of some things that kills a relationship.
You see people dating for a few months and boom, the relationship is called off.
I’ve heard some relationships ending just a few days after starting, then I asked myself “common, did you guys set the relationship on stopwatch?” funny right, but it’s actually real.
So without wasting your time, let’s get straight to business. today, we will be discussing things that kills a relationship
If you ask me, comparison is very toxic, especially when you fall at the wrong side of it. In fact, it’s an act of disrespect to your partner to compare him or her to your ex or someone bad, just to make them feel they are not trying enough.
When you were young, and your parents compare you to someone else’s child. How do you feel? Bad, less valued, self-esteem problem? yeah, that’s exactly how your partner feels when you do the same.
Comparing your partner to someone else because you feel they are not trying enough will not help the relationship, it will only kill their self-worth faster, or even make them lose interest in the relationship. Because the reality is, you want them to walk faster than their shadow, and also asking them to compete with your ex.
Understand we are different in our ways, you are not perfect either, but still, God has not compared you to anyone.
If your partner is lacking somewhere, help him or her and if you can’t cope, move on, it’s not a do or die affair
Lack of Trust
This is a very powerful destructive tool that easily destroys a relationship. legit.com explained more this. The moment you don’t trust your partner enough; you will have problem with believing everything they tell you.
Especially if your partner associates with the opposite sex a lot or behaves in a questionable manner, you become unnecessarily suspicious and start misjudging every situation.
For example, you call and they don’t pick, in your head “why is he not picking? Is he with a girl?” you are already helping them look for excuses, so when they say something different that looks genuine, then you are calm or even ask further questions.
Trust issue may be caused by past experience, what you heard or what you read somewhere else that has happened in the past or looks like it’s happening in your relationship.
So understand that If you don’t trust your partner, you are putting the relationship on a time bomb, because it could result in domestic violence, frequent fight, no peace of mind or even break up. This is one of the popular things that kills a relationship.
Believing everything you read on social media
In fact, this is one of the trending things that kills a relationship nowadays. With the way the society is now corrupt, social media is more of a trap when relationship is concern than blessing. You have to be careful about who you speak to, what you read and what your belief is.
I’ve read some people losing someone that could have been their life partner as a result of importing or bringing in what they read on social media to their relationship, thinking every relationship is the same.
For example, you read on social media that long-distance relationship is nothing but a scam or you read that when your partner isn’t always picking your call immediately, he or she is probably busy with someone else and doesn’t want disturbance, some even go as far as tell people that relationship is just a word, and not real.
If you pay attention to things like this, trust me, you will become suspicious of your partner, and from there, trust issues come in and before you know it, you start getting fed up and lose interest.
And sometimes your partner could feel disrespected and cut everything off, or you end it and start regretting later.
Understand that our personalities are different, so don’t ever believe your relationship should be like what you read on social media or your partner is probably doing what you read online or even do what you watched on TV. Every relationship should move according to their speed limit at the moment, not at the limit of what you read, heard or saw
Lack of or no sufficient communication
Especially when you are practicing a long distance relationship, Communication is very important, when communication is not adequate or no more there, then the relationship dies a natural death in a very short time.
You might not want to hear this, but communication problem is one of the signs that someone has broken up with you without saying it, I know this because there is always time for that person you love except if your excuse is reasonable.
You might want to ask, “what if there is misunderstanding?”. The truth is, even if you guys are having misunderstandings, it is advisable you clear up things as soon as possible.
The reality is, if you really want to keep your relationship, don’t give room for no communication. Talk to each other at least once in two days.
The more silent you become to each other, the distance the relationship is.
Even if you guys are neighbors, if communication is not there, the relationship could feel like its a long distance.
Nagging is extremely bad and has never solved anything, instead, it kills emotions faster.
When you keep complaining about something or complain about the slightest thing, trust me, you are gradually killing the connection between you and your partner, and before you know it, they get bored of your presence and then stop opening up to you because they know you won’t help them feel any better, and might go out of the house or relationship to sort for a better atmosphere.
Let’s be realistic, how do you feel when someone is almost always complaining about certain things, things they could have easily let go, but won’t give you breathing space over those things? Bad right? So the truth is, nagging is emotion killer and could kill the joy and peace that should come with a relationship.
This has ruined many relationships. Permit me to say this, anyone with uncontrollable ego will certainly have a problem in a relationship as well as marriage, Ego is also part of the characters to work on before thinking of marriage
Don’t get me wrong, ego is not something that is bad because you sometimes need a little of it to show some people you are not a kid, so they should treat you with respect.
It’s not the same with relationship because as long as relationship is concern, you must be ready to act stupid sometimes, which means, your level of ego sometimes must be zero.
Nothing like “if he doesn’t talk to me first, I won’t talk to him” or “she offended me first, so she should apologize first” in a relationship, you don’t need that if you are to move forward.
You have to know how to apologize even when you are not at fault, and that can’t be achieved with your ego on.
This particular aspect is not gender-specific because anyone can have a problem controlling their temper. Understand that anger is not abnormal, and there is no one who does not get angry.
I understand what get me upset might not get you upset. Here is the big issue, if your upset is uncontrollable or you easily get upset, then there is a big problem, such temper kills a relationship. This is because extreme anger will definitely lead to domestic violence, destroying properties and we all know domestic violence is deadly and as well as emotion killer.
I don’t need to explain these ones because you know them already. But some are simple, yet sensitive, and those are the ones mentioned and explained.
So as a guy/lady, understand that even though relationships are not perfect, it is meant to be enjoyed and shouldn’t be bondage.
And most times, all we need is to make few tweaks and things will work out well, and other times, we just have to be watchful of some things and make sure they are eradicated if there are signs of them.
There are few simple things you don’t notice but kills a relationship. I hope these tips help you. As always, your comments are welcome. Feel free to say your mind in the comment section. Cheers